Sandra Fees

Sandra Fees has been published in SWWIM, Nimrod, River Heron Review, Border Crossing, Harbor Review, Witness and elsewhere and has work forthcoming in Crab Creek Review, Moon City Review and other journals. The author of the chapbook, The Temporary Vase of Hands, she lives in southeastern Pennsylvania.

Self-Portrait at 15 as an Ecstatic

          At night, I open the window
          and ask the moon to come and
          press its face against mine. ~ Rumi

Strawberry lip balm and smoky
blue eyeshadow // I wouldn’t

change a thing // I’d still kiss
the man twice my age

who drew me close //who
downshifted his yellow

corvette // brushed his handle-
bar mustache against my face

until his smoke-and-coffee mouth
encompassed mine // But I’d

know what I know now // At home,
my face was scrubbed // my shorts,

knee-length // zinnias crowding the garden //
banned books caught in the lamp-

light // and psalms of lust drafted
by moonlight // No—I’d change

everything // travel beyond my years
not so easily dazzled // Then who

would I be? // Myself and my facsimile //
the longing to spin // But not this //

Not the distance from the prayed-for-
moon // Not this bare face // Not this.