Natalie Schriefer
Natalie Schriefer, MFA is a bi/demi writer often grappling with sexuality, identity, and shame. She loves asking people about their fictional crushes (her most recent are Riza Hawkeye and Gamora). A Best of the Net nominee, her work has appeared online with CNN, Wired, Insider, and NBC, among others. Find her on Twitter @schriefern1 or on her website at www.natalieschriefer.com.
A Prayer During Job Selection in The Game of Life (1991) by Hasbro
Dear God Jesus Mary Joseph whoever
has time to lend me an ear: please
let me get the athlete card. I’ll be good,
I swear. I’ll practice every day.
I’ll never forget to pray again. I know
it’s a game; I know it means nothing;
I know I shouldn’t need validation,
a promise, a sign, but God, that card
has a picture of a tennis player on it—
a woman! Just like me! I need to hear
my friends say ohmigod, that’s you!,
like I’m destined for tennis after all.
Hi again, I don’t mean to be ungrateful,
I’m sure there’s a larger plan at work,
but I felt the lights dim when I pulled
the salesperson card instead. Are you
mad at me? I’m trying my best.
I listen to my parents. My coaches.
The nuns at CCD, even when I disagree.
Please don’t send me bad omens—
the athlete card languishing in the deck—
the STOP! Get married space I can’t avoid—
my van full of plastic babies I don’t want,
my prayers unanswered, unheard, amen.
